A military vessel on the search for an unidentified submersible finds themselves face to face with a giant shark, forced to use only what they have on board to defend themselves from the monstrous beast.
Directed by: James Thomas
. Starring: Michael Madsen
, Dominic Pace
, Caroline Harris
, Ego Mikitas
, Aimee Stolte
, Scott C. Roe
, Sébastien Charmant
, Elizabeth J. Cron
, Paulina Laurant
, Luke Fattorusso
, Daniel Joo
, Philip Nathanael
, Mario Rocha
. Music by: Christopher Cano
, Mikel Shane Prather
, Chris Ridenhour
Have made no secret in the past of intensely disliking, and even outright hating a lot, a vast majority of The Asylum's and SyFy's (near-universally maligned for good reason) output, though there is curiosity as to whether they are capable of making something good and compulsive about their output's badness. Admittedly, both The Asylum and SyFy do have a small group of watchable films and the occasional (big emphasis on that word) above average one, unfortunately outweighed by the lacklustre at best and often dreadful films they churn out.
Before anybody gets defensive, am well aware that films like 'Megalodon' are not ones to be taken seriously when watching it on the SyFy channel last night. Have seen my fair share of low-budget shark films, and any other kind of low-budget creature film, and will admit to finding some guilty fun in some of them (i.e. the first two 'Sharknado' films, the novelty's worn off now). There are marginally worse shark films, but is that an endorsement or saying much? Not really.
Take no pleasure in rating films low or leaving negative reviews. Actually always aim to be an encouraging and perceptive reviewer, and 110 ratings are extremely rare. Actually wanted to see 'Megalodon' as at least a guilty pleasure.
Sadly 'Megalodon' is just too amateurish to accept as a guilty pleasure, where nearly everything is just poor quality that it's insulting and there is nowhere near enough fun, intentional or unintentional, moments. Was not expecting anything intelligent here, am well versed now to know that it is not that kind of film, but it does feel like it was made by somebody who didn't know how to give a film brains, so much so that it'll make the viewer feel dumb and that is not a nice sensation to feel watching a film.
Cheapness and ridiculousness were taken to extremes here in 'Megalodon'. Some marginally intriguing, if very silly, ideas but comes off so far-fetchingly that it is impossible to take things for what they're intended to be let alone take them seriously.
Visually, even when knowing what to expect, 'Megalodon' still looks really cheap. Any nice scenery that the movie has is difficult to appreciate when the movie is shot in such a drab way and when it's edited so amateurishly that bacon-slicer-like editing looks more refined. Worst of all in this regard are the effects, as it was made on low-budget it would have been forgiven a little if it was not great, but when the effects for the shark look as if no effort was given in making them without looking so goofy and unfinished-looking that is hard to ignore. The attention to detail for uniforms etc. is next to nothing, it looks like no research went into this.
No better news about the shark's personality. Not menacing or fun, it's basically bland and for a titular creature it doesn't feature in the film enough and is used poorly, almost random. The shark action is nothing to write home about, not enough of it and easily forgettable with no suspense or even unintentional humour.
Writing ranges between incredibly bad to appalling. Any comedy is incredibly forced and is so cheesy it is enough to make the eyes roll in disbelief, while the more serious moments are very awkwardly written and as trite as anybody can possibly go. Then there is the muddled and borderline incoherent technobabblejargon that sounded made up on the spot. To describe the story as weak is being too insulting to the word weak, it is a very lethargically paced and thin as ice story with lots of padding that is either badly written or serves no point at all to the movie, other than attempts at novelty value, which falls flat on its face because it all feels so tired. It is not fun, it is not scary and it is not thrilling or suspenseful, it's just nothing but tired stupidity, with silly ideas being ridiculous and muddled in execution. The ending stretches dumbness too far that it will make the jaw drop at its excessive ridiculousness.
As for the characters, they are a mix of bland and annoying, not an interesting or rootable character among them thanks to such nonsensical and illogical behaviours and decisions (a pet peeve of mine and am staring to detect an annoying pattern in recent low-budget viewings). The portrayal of the Navy and its roles shows immense disrespect and in no way looks like a military service. The acting is either disinterested or hammy, Michael Madsen looks like he was there for the money or a favour but really wanted to be somewhere else.
Review by TheLittleSongbird from the Internet Movie Database.