Eaters |
Italy • 2011 • 94m •
  • Directed by: Luca Boni, Marco Ristori. • Starring: Alex Lucchesi, Guglielmo Favilla, Claudio Marmugi, Rosella Elmi, Elisa Ferretti, Steve Sylvester, Paolo Spartaco Palazzi, Roberto Mariotti, Riccardo Floris, Fabiano Lioi, Francesco Malcom, Matteo Cantu, Alessio Cherubini. • Music by: Bahntier, Justin Bennett, Filippo Corradin, Stefano Rossello, Wheelsfargo.    The world - devastated by the Great Epidemic - is governed by hordes of living dead. Three men - Igor and Alen, two hunters of dead and a scientist, Gyno - try to give an answer to what has happened to the human race. Alen and Igor leave for two days of hunting to find new "guinea-pigs" for Gyno and meet the most varied characters: a crazy painter, neo-Nazis and a mysterious girl, daughter of the feared Plague-Spreader, supposed craftsman of the epidemic...
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Review:
Well, besides encouragement and rewarding a couple of directors who got this (presumably) direct to dvd (surely never seen on big screens?) for - (reportedly) - the unbelievably low budget of just $100,000, you might feel there could be no other reason whatsoever to watch (tolerate) this other than being a Zombie genre fan, to the extent that you will watch anything connected to it!
But (if you do), along the really tedious jeep, sorta road movie, journey way, with occasional interesting deserted building area sets found, in an otherwise almost permanently washed out down to dull greyscale look, with repetitive and uninspiring bluegreen screen backgrounds, you will be, er, rewarded, with how that budget was well stretched, used, with some really good (=bad!) worthwhile seeing zombie make-up effects. (With seeming just one person credited, gotta shout huge kudos out to a one Francesca Cioni). And, come on, admit it, that's really the only reason we're along for the otherwise quite tedious (jeep) ride, isn't it?
Otherwise, along that - did I warn, tedious? - jeep journey ride, attempting to stave off yawns, you'll also come across latter day Nazis (including not Mini-Me, but Mini-Adolf, apparently), a rescued waif, รก la Aliens (utterly pontless Cristina (Elisa Ferrerti) other than the fact she's related to the 'disease virus spreader'..?), a zombie portrait painter (come on, that's a first, huh?) named Caravaggio (who, ho, ho, get it, paints a zombie head along the lines of his real painter namesake's obsession with decapitation - well, go see 'David with Goliath' - played by the grandly named Paola Spartaco Pallazzi); and for me the best bit (besides the Zombie make-up) - not in any acting or plot or likes - but a humble prop: the 'Corpses and Girls' girly mags the two protagansists while away their time to be thrilled with in the post-zombiefied world where all women are gone (apparently?) raised a much needed big (pause-frame) smile: e.g. being a big fan of defunct rock group Pink floyd, it amused me to see listed on one something on girls from 'The dark side of the TOMB', plus 'True Mortician's Confessions' (! :-)) and on another, cum(!) ons into the issue included 'Virgin Mummies' (!), 'Screamer Debbie Rochon' + Rob Zombie! :-)
Plus from that budget you can then guess what the rest of the crew and actors' cut may have been, as another part of the, well not really enjoyment, but justification to 'filmically' appreciate, is the two main protaganists practising (poorly!) their acting chops: another amusement came when the tough macho one of the two starts suddenly singing 'Wake me up before you go go' (yep; the 30 year old Wham song!), to then turn to his more sensitive buddy to assure: "Of course, doesn't mean I'm gay, y'know!" Hmm: what made the directorwriters stick that in then, for a genre that is, usually, almost exclusively male enjoyed, and in any case is in a story, if I followed it correctly, where all the women have gone... ohh - now I get it! (And BTW, since one of the co-directors, Luca Boni, also did the 'animation', so what was that all about to keep the zombies subdued..?)
So, yep, in the end, there's more to this than would at first seem to be a throwaway, completely forgettable effort - but do you want to tolerate actually watching it to find out?
Despite my DVD copy supposedly having an English track available (then possibly a. k. a. 'Zombie Massacre' andor 'Zombie Z'), I only got the Italian dialogue - so much is guessed: like that all the women have for some reason been eliminated (perhaps) - except, of course you still gotta have a female somewhere as the McGuffin to plot-drive any boy's own yarn (check the brief, gratituitiously partially boob bared, Tara Cardinal (I believe?) zombie 'encountered'), so in this one it's the senstive guy's (ex?) wife, who - PLOT SPOILER ALERT - becomes de-rigueur afflicted (of course), played make up and thrillingly, er, bound by Rosello Elmi.
N.B. I.e. A real 'scream queen' actress known as 'The Meryl Streep of Horror', apparently :-)
There: so, I (we) got all that out of it: can't be that bad then, can it? (Yes, it really can!!).
Review by Bofsensai from the Internet Movie Database.
