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Army of Frankensteins

Army of Frankensteins (2013) Movie Poster
USA  •    •  108m  •    •  Directed by: Ryan Bellgardt.  •  Starring: Jordan Farris, Christian Bellgardt, John Ferguson, Eric Gesecus, Rett Terrell, Raychelle McDonald, Thomas Cunningham, Lucas Ross, Billy Bean, Shellie Sterling, Jami Harris Shine, Donald Taylor, Laurie Cummings.  •  Music by: David Stone Hamilton.
       After a failed attempt to propose to his girlfriend, Alan Jones is beaten to within an inch of his life by a street gang and taken to a mysterious lab where Dr. Tanner Finski and his kid genius assistant perform horrible experiments on him hoping to re-animate a Frankenstein. The experiments lead to a hole being ripped in space and time, manifesting an Army of Frankensteins from hundreds of parallel universes and sending them all back to the 19th century, directly into the heart of a bloody battle between the North and South. History will never be the same.


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Image from: Army of Frankensteins (2013)
Image from: Army of Frankensteins (2013)
Image from: Army of Frankensteins (2013)
Image from: Army of Frankensteins (2013)
Image from: Army of Frankensteins (2013)
This film is supposed to be a horrorcomedy parody however it falls slightly short and is a lot less amusing then the film makers hoped for. The acting is bad, effects are cheesy, narrative is high-school simple, and the plot has more holes than Cheddar cheese - pity because the title alone conjured up loads of potential entertaining visions in my head, oh how dearly the reality of the film let this down. The funniest part of the film for me was in the opening where an American Civil war soldier gets his arm torn off by a Frankenstein who then beats the soldier with the bloody part of the stump, from here it all went downhill for me. Even despite the best efforts to use modern technology and times gone past to create a Steampunk feel in the later parts of the film didn't quite hit the mark for me. Special mention has to go to the costume department for the first half of the film, you will not believe how incredibly fake the moustaches and beards are in this, Groucho Marx would have laughed!

I'm going to use the word Frankenstein a lot as I mention the monster in this film, I do know that Frankenstein is the name of the scientist who built the monster and not the name for the monster. This film doesn't seem to understand this but if I went off on a rant saying that this ruined the film for me then I'd need a lot more page space for a ranty review, instead of that I'll just use the stance the film did and refer to the monster as a Frankenstein.

The story in a nutshell is that the descendant of a Civil War soldier is feeling down on his luck after his girlfriend turns down his marriage proposal. On a long walk home he is assaulted and kidnapped. He wakes up to find he part of a mad scientists experiment and is about to lose his eye ball. During the procedure of building a Frankenstein something goes wrong and the Scientist, his young Igor, the kidnapped man and a handful of Frankenstein's are sent back in time to the American Civil war. At first the Frankenstein's attack everyone but a slave girl manages to communicate with the monster and in effect get him to fight on her side. Unfortunately it wasn't just people who travelled in time but also parts of the lab where the Frankenstein was being put together, on that note the opposition forces in the war managed to procure some serum which could turn the living into monsters. On top of the man vs man fighting it later becomes man vs man vs monster vs new monster, all a bit messy really but it's not hard to follow who is who's side. The war eventually comes to an end but then the hero's of the film are beckoned to Washington to meet Abraham Lincoln who has a mission for them, he wants to stop the newly created monster and the leader of the opposition forces who themselves are plotting with John Booth to assassinate Lincoln. Despite everyone's best efforts to change history it doesn't work. After all the Frankensteins are dead our hero travels back to the future where once again he is turned down for marriage by his girlfriend however this time he isn't as worried as he's grown as a man and can understand the rejection more.

I was hoping for something better than what unfolded on screen, I feel this was a little bit of a let down. It also felt like this was two films tied together, everything that happens from the end of the Civil war leading to Washington felt like a lot cheaper film - perhaps the budget had been blown by then, but there was more green room and CGI in a studio than the first part of the film. I'd go as far as saying the amount of bad CGI and green-screen in the second part of the film is off putting. The star of the show was a young Christian Bellgardt who played the grave robbing, scene stealing "Igor". Despite seeing his back story and following him around the film your affection only lasts for a while as he is yet to fully become a convincing actor.

There was a lot of promise which wasn't delivered, as far as parody horror comedy during the Civil War goes I'd watch "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" any day over this.

Review by one9eighty from the Internet Movie Database.