A race of evil cyborgs kidnap humans from Earth's future to use as slaves, and take dinosaurs from the past to use as trackers. One of their slaves, the Runaway, escapes and makes his way to present-day Los Angeles. There he must fend off the cyborgs and their trackers, the police, and the government, befriended by a prostitute-turned-nun who runs a halfway house.
Directed by: Anthony Doublin
. Starring: Daniel Bernhardt
, Robert Z'Dar
, Travis Brooks Stewart
, Ray Adash
, Andre Scruggs
, David Jacobs
, Aldo Juliano
, Matthew Sakimoto
, Art Cruz
, Joanne Takahashi
, Mary Shelton
, Tracy Robertson
. Music by: Arlan H. Boll
Let me dispense with the conventional bashing of this cinematic treat; everyone who has seen Future War has first seen it MSTified. You see, despite this FILM being crafted in the mold of 'Summer ActionAdventure Blockbuster', the truth is that a series of flaws in it's creation have led to the FILM's poor return at the box office. An equally ineffectual video release in 1997 marked a year since the first theater ticket hadn't been sold. Future War languished unseen for a few years until something marvelous happened......
On April 25, 1999 a million-or-so MST fans tuned in to see, as if by providence, perhaps the worst FILM ever made, ever. In the world, mind you. (Ever)
So glorious was Future War's "discovery" with which 1300th of our country took share of, that a baptism of criticism washed over each and every one of us. WE were the ones who noted that this FILM presented neither a war nor a futuristic setting. WE all simultaneously found it strange that too many action scenes were adorned with empty boxes. WE laughed at poorly crafted puppet dinosaurs as they would smudge the camera lens from the over-forced perspective cinematography. It was obvious to US that Robert Z'Dar should never headline any cast. And who noted continuity errors in the form of self-healing wounds, quick-change cyborg make-up applications and random dinosaur sizing parameters? You'd better believe that was US too!
I've never been the 'best' at any one thing, but I'd like to believe that my critical film-watching skills are amidst good company atop the bell curve of detraction. Finding fault with this FILM is proof of that. But I must give some credit to Best Brains Inc. for (A)locating this tripe (B)paying the handsome royalties to re-air it and (C) for co-incidentally finding the exact same flaws that I did, only pointing them out first and in a more humorous manner and to an audience.
Sarcasm aside, my observation in regards to this epic is that I'm amazed that the true intent of Future War was to produce a competitive feature length movie that people (or person) would go see knowing: (A) the FILM's directoral debut was from a special effects man for direct-to-video dungflicks (B) the story was holier than Jesus and flimsier than 'the other leading brand' of tissue (C) budget constraints led to the construction of a cardboard camera when the need arose to point their only real camera at a cameraman-actor (D) every last second of the final production was a steaming pile of festering media ready to self-combust if left in a corner unattended.
In summary, Jackie Chan, you have yet to be dethroned as the current reigning champ of actorfight director. Jeff Speakman, you've moved up one notch. If you haven't yet caught Futile War on MST then rent this winner in its pristine form. You don't need anyone to tell you when to laugh. There's a Yogi Bear impersonation in the movie, for God's sake!!!!
Review by firstname.lastname@example.org from the Internet Movie Database.