Pleasurecraft |
  • USA • 1999 • 82m •    • Directed by: Franklin A. Vallette. • Starring: Juan Carlos, Billy Riverside, Paul Johnson, Richard Burns, Vincent Kessler, Brandy Davis, Taimie Hannum, Amber Newman, Shayna Ryan, Andrea R. Hargitay, M.C. McCurdy. • Music by: Wayne Scott Joness.    Three crewmen of star cruiser Prometheus fall in lust with the three women they are transporting as cargo to far off planet to be offered as brides. Do they honor their pledge to deliver or follow their hearts?
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Review:
The basic premise here is part Star Trek, part Marilyn Chambers. Three hot women from a galaxy far away who have an instinctive ability to know what men want and how to satisfy them are being transported to another planet, where they're supposed to marry some high-ranking men there in order to prevent a war. You see, any man who has sex with one of these women automatically falls madly in love with them (kind of like a Sirine's song, only actual intercourse is required in this case). The dialog is pretty blatantly ripped off of Star Trek; one of the four male characters is a cheap copy of Commander Data (the android from the "Next Generation" cast).
Now this would all be well and good if the movie could keep us hot and bothered for 90 minutes. It does manage to keep us excited in spurts, but it just doesn't have the stamina to go an hour and a half. In one scene, one of the four crewmen is rubbing down two of the women while they lie on the ground. They start getting excited, and the scene really starts to go somewhere. At this point in the movie, three of the four crewmen have had sex with the women. But the ship's captain feels bound to his duty and refuses to have sex with them, despite his overwhelming desire to. Anyway, the scene starts going somewhere, only to have the captain break it up. This really aggravated me.
The scenes that are allowed to go somewhere just feel like they need to be fleshed out more. They have potential. In an early scene, one of the women gets her foot licked and her toes sucked. You don't need to have a foot fetish to find this hot. But the scene's just too short. It's like the director said, "Okay you two: Strip, make out, you lick her foot, do some other naughty stuff, and now let's get on to the next scene of dialogue so that I can pretend I'm directing the next Star Trek movie!"
Inadequate moments of steam aren't helped by an intrusive story. We spend too much time hearing about this interplanetary conflict. Note to director: I don't care about this story. You have three drop-dead gorgeous women running around most of this movie with no clothes on. Put them in bed with the crewmen more often (and with each other, which should happen more than the one time it does), and leave the excess dialogue and "storytelling" (I use that term loosely) on deep space nine. It also doesn't help that the last fifteen minutes of the movie are spent on wrapping up the galactic war story, instead of putting the women in positions of prurience where they belong.
I won't say this film is a total disappointment. As I said, it does have its moments. Still, there are better choices in the genre. For a far superior movie from the same year (1999) and film category, try "Hidden Beauties" instead. Only watch this is you've already watched everything else.
Review by Unknown from the Internet Movie Database.
Movie Database