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Dark Reprieve

Dark Reprieve (2008) Movie Poster
  •  Canada  •    •  80m  •    •  Directed by: Richard Boddington.  •  Starring: Janelle Grey, Shawn Storer, Sarah Jackson, Liam Card, Ian Wisniewski, John Cronk, Sarah Tyrrell, Steve Boyer, Norman Weinstein, Gregory Hudson, Reg Heide, Rachel Lootens, Rebecca Harvey.  •  Music by: Ryan Latham.
       Two people Matt and Kate wake up in a closed down prison. They have no idea how they got there, or why they are there. In the prison they encounter several terrors as they look for an exit.


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Image from: Dark Reprieve (2008)
Image from: Dark Reprieve (2008)
Saying this movie is awful should be considered offensive to any other movie that people say is awful In the same way that referring to this flick as a bag of crap should be considered offensive to actual bags filled with crap. Shawn Storer is so bad he makes Carrot Top look like Robert DeNiro. The only time I saw his acting worse then this was when he was on trial for trying to blow up an exes car!!! The fact that any of these people are working is a testament to just how bad Canadian cinema has become. Sure we get the odd good one, but having to wade through garbage like this doesn't really make it worth the effort. The cast from this flick should go back to their day jobs working the Fry-O-Later at Burger King


I realize that I've already panned this piece of garbage but I think, being the optimist I am, that I have finally found a way to make this tolerable. If you are indeed forced to watch this by some moron trying to convince you its not abject donkey puke, the you might as well turn it into a drinking game. Drink once whenever A) that bonehead (the offensive words keep getting edited out) Shawn Storer opens his mouth, B)something extraordinarily predictable occurs and C) you question why you're not better spending your time banging your head against the wall and D) you ask why this chick isn't topless, cause thats all that would make her interesting. Finish your drink when A) you see the end coming a mile away and B)you hope that the sweet sweet liquor will purge this useless crap from your short term memory and blissfully allow you to pass out.

Review by Randolph Swackhammer from the Internet Movie Database.