Interplanetary |
USA • 2008 • 85m •
A motley assortment of men and women live and work together on a base on Mars for the Interplanetary Corporation. Things are pretty dull and unexciting until one day the crew find themselves under attack not only by a lethal group of strangers, but also from a vicious reptilian humanoid alien beast.
  • Directed by: Chance Shirley. • Starring: Melissa Bush, Nick Crawford, Jacquese Evans, Mia Frost, Sanford Hardy, Chuck Hartsell, Kyle Holman, A.R. Kirby, Lisa Mason. • Music by: Eric McGinty, Ted Speaker. |
Review:
This is the tale of the wage slaves of Mars Base Two as they get caught between a Martian fossil, a secret lab of evil experimentation and an alien beast that apparently discovers it's a nudist as the movie goes along. There's a bit of bare female flesh at the beginning and a bit more of cheap-looking gore toward the end. The best members of the cast come off like they'd be good at community theater and the rest are clearly in this thing only because they know these filmmakers and will work for Spam. There are a couple of nice shots but most of Interplanetary is the work of people with more ambition than talent and will only impress others of the same stripe. As a movie, this is better than strictly amateur efforts but remains a clear step below professional standards. You'd have to call this semi-pro cinema.
The friends and family of the folks who made Interplanetary probably enjoyed watching it and I wouldn't begrudge them that. Foisting this quality of film on the general public, however, is flatly objectionable. No disinterested viewer could possibly like this unless they were stoned and/or retarded. There are just too many lame scenes that pound the life out of every good idea writer/director Chance Shirley poured into this motion picture. Again, at 20 minutes long and with a reworked story that emphasized the few promising elements here and dispensed with everything else, plenty of film festival crowds would have applauded it. At 86 minutes, most the crowd is going to walk out on it.
In the past, when mainstream movies were quite limited in the amount of sex and blood they would show, there was at least some reason for exploitative crap like Interplanetary to exist. What's the point of making something like this now? There's no market for it and no one in Hollywood is ever going to look at it and think the people responsible for it deserve their big show business break. It's like a modern day radio drama. If you want to produce one as a hobby, that's fine but you can't expect people to pay money for it like legitimate entertainment.
And by the way, I watched the trailers that came on the Interplanetary DVD and they were the single worst conglomeration of worthless, unwatchable garbage I've ever seen in one place at one time. The combined budgets of these wretched flicks had to have been less than the price of a back ally handjob and they couldn't have been more asinine if they were all written, directed and performed by donkeys. If flicks like those are your usual diet, you'll likely think Interplanetary is the greatest story ever told. You also shouldn't be allowed to vote. Unless you are a struggling, low budget filmmaker and want to see how bad it can be when you exceed your capabilities, stay away from this movie.
Review by MBunge [IMDB 23 March 2012] from the Internet Movie Database.
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