Six years ago NASA discovered the possibility of alien life within our solar system. A probe was launched to collect samples, but crashed upon re-entry over North America. Soon after, new life forms began to appear and half of Mexico was quarantined as an INFECTED ZONE. Today, the American and Mexican military still struggle to contain "the creatures"...... Our story begins when a US journalist agrees to escort a shaken tourist through the infected zone in Mexico to the safety of the US border.
Directed by: Gareth Edwards
. Starring: Scoot McNairy
, Whitney Able
, Mario Zuniga Benavides
, Annalee Jefferies
, Justin Hall
, Ricky Catter
, Paul Archer
, Kerry Valderrama
, Jonathan Winnford
, Stan Wong
, Anthony Cristo
, Mario Richardson
, Jorge Quirs
. Music by: Jon Hopkins
Where to even start? The 'characters' were so shallow that they would barely ripple of you dropped a rock into them. I hated them both so much that I feel driven to bullet point just how awful they were.
1) Little rich girl in alone in Mexico, seems utterly incapable of wiping her own nose let alone negotiating hundreds of miles of alien infested wilderness. She has the personality and presence of a damp sock.
2) Cynical journalist out to make a name for himself and willing to risk it all, including the life of the aforementioned girl. Luckily for him, his camera seems to have unlimited battery life and is impervious to just about anything. More of that later. He also seems to have an awful lot of money for a guy who doesn't get paid.(see ferry ticket) He is a whiny little cry-baby and a sleaze bag who, when he fails to seduce rich girl, gets hammered and takes what we assume is a hooker, who of course robs him for everything. Except his invulnerable camera.
3) Little rich girl is going to be married when she gets home and is obviously several classes above journo boy and several leagues out of his game. He drunkenly hits on her and she rejects his clumsy and badly scripted advances, yet she somehow feels betrayed when she finds him with the assumed hooker the very next morning, and runs away. Now, at this point she has asked him if he wants to go for a coffee before the ferry leaves and not for her passport. What an idiot! When they realise that the hooker has robbed him of passports but not her ferry ticket, (Which cost $5,000 by the way. Lucky he had that much cash on him eh?) does she call rich daddy or fiancé and say 'send me some money and a hit man to shoot this douche bag'? No, she just shrugs and decides to sell her fabulously valuable engagement ring and risk her life going through the killer alien infected zone with sleaze bag journo and a gang of unknown, untested and un-trusted mercenaries. How can we possibly believe this character? There is some hinting that all is not well at home and she is unhappy with her life, but enough that she would risk it like this? Yeah, right.
End of character assassination for now. So off they both go, encountering exactly one alien up close. It kills everybody but them in a way that's never explained, but it involves some blood. Or none. Depending. Before this, the mercenaries tell them that thealiens won't attack unless provoked, and then start shooting at one when it gets a bit close. So now they're lost in the jungle, a hundred miles or so from the American border. No, wait. That's impossible, because the jungles in Mexico are in the south. If I were to go into all the geographical goofs in this film then it would take all day.
What we are told is Mexico is either Costa Rica or Guatemala, but they have conveniently decided to deal in dollars and made all road signs in English. Wasn't that nice? Luckily, the camera, which had been appropriated by one of the mercenaries, is undamaged. It's covered in blood and has been dropped from around 30ft while attached to said, and now dead, mercenary, but it is indestructible.
So, they carry on and, luckily again; meet no more monsters along the way. They talk a bit, they walk a bit. They walk some more and talk some more. Phew! Exciting stuff. The one part of the film where they could have encountered a threat or even advanced their burgeoning friendshiprelationship is utterly wasted with a quick cut from night to morning and a brisk stroll to the border wall. Except that the wall has been breached and there are no guards or anything! The place must be crawling with aliens. Except no, it isn't. they wander about a bit then find a gas station with all the lights on and a working telephone and call the emergency services to come and save their worthless, dull, spoiled whiny useless asses and just sit there until they come. A monster has a sort of half hearted look for something to eat while they wait, but meets a buddy and they have a minute or two's touchy feely, accompanied by some honking, and off they go. See? If you don't bother them they won't bother you. In fact, you can just stand there and watch the whole thing. Inexplicably, journo-boy doesn't take a picture of this supposedly moving and touching scene. I think we are to take it that he is so overawed that it touches his soul and he lets this beautiful moment be private or something. He'll risk the life of a stranger, pay for a hooker and take pics of dead children for money, but two giant land squid getting freaky? No way, that's out of bounds man! There are just some things you don't do, OK?
Review by i_am_bryony from the Internet Movie Database.