I'm Not Jesus Mommy

• USA • 2010 • 89m •

• Directed by: Vaughn Juares. • Starring: Charles Hubbell, Bridget McGrath, Joseph Andrew Schneider, Aaron Aoki, Debbie DeLisi, Aja Hale, Rocko Hale, Ryan Kiser, Nora Montanez, Erik D. Pakieser. • Music by: Karl Preusser.

Kimberly would stop at nothing to have a child of her own. After recovering from cancer her possibilities seemed slim. However, the world's first successful human cloning project brings an unthinkable solution and a son named David. Seven years after David's birth, wars, famine and natural disasters of every kinds have plagued the Earth. As Kimberly struggles to survive her biggest challenge is raising her son. Strange occurrences surrounding the young boy are only becoming worse and more mysterious. Roger, the head researcher of the cloning project returns to reveal that David was cloned from DNA taken from the Shroud of Turin...from blood of Christ. Has cloning made it possible to bring Christ back? Is David the Second Coming of Christ or something else?

Trailers:

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Trailer #1

1:35

Trailer #2

1:24

TV Spot - Do You Have Any Idea...

0:15

TV Spot - Everybody is Dying

0:31

Review:

I'm Not Jesus Mommy is poorly written. I can not leave a spoiler because the conclusion is so vague and the story line so poorly developed that the viewer can not be sure what happened. I was struck by several things about the film from the start that made the story line impossible. First, it is no secret that the plot hinges on a child cloned from the blood stains on the Shroud of Turin. So, anything I tell you about that aspect tells you no more than you already know. The film begins with the secretive, questionable fertility clinic performing human cloning. In a scene where the process is being explained to new scientists recruited for the clinic, the head doctor says that the clones are made from red blood cells. Fact: red blood cells have no DNA or nucleus unlike other cells in the body. Clones are normally made from cells lining the stomach. Strike one. During this presentation, the head doctor shows on a screen a power-point presentation of human DNA used for cloning. In DNA, it is a double helix formed of two base pairs of nucleic acids. The graphics on the film show not base pairs or even two single strands of bases: it shows two strands of base triplets. Fact: nowhere in any organism's DNA are nucleotides in triplets or groups of six; all organism's DNA is in base pairs. Strike two. While the head doctor is manipulating tissue to get more clones, he is shown slicing off large chunks of tissue (from what is probably raw meat from the grocery), which is not the way clone DNA is obtained. Stike three. The plausibility of the film's plot basis is lost in the first few scenes. In some places I found humor. While the head doctor is preparing his tissue samples for cloning, he is listening to Ave Maria, a classical piece of Roman Catholic liturgy praising Mary as the mother of Jesus. Chance or simply too obvious a choice by the film makers?

After this disappointing start that most with a high school knowledge of genetics and human anatomy would know is flawed, we jump several years to an apocalyptic world with no explanation. More time is spent on meaningless following of fundamentalist Christian beliefs about the second coming than in explaining what is happening.

The film also amuses with obvious flaws in costuming that we are not supposed to notice. In order to make the protagonist doctor look more academic, she wears glasses. But she wears them in scenes where accurate vision is not needed and fails to wear them when she would need them most. After she has been developed as a character, the glasses disappear completely. If this woman needs glasses, why is she not wearing them at the appropriate times and wearing them at the inappropriate times?

The film might interest some fundamentalist Christians as it compares well with films on the anti-Christ and the Rapture. But for an educated audience, when it finally ends, we are left without knowing how it has ended. Few films at the end leave me in doubt as to what the climax was or what it meant.

So, file this one away with other B movies based on Revelations. Watch it with an intelligent person and you will both be discussing for some time what the ending was. That is why a spoiler is almost impossible. You would have to be able to give away the ending to provide a spoiler.

Review by ryansternmd from the Internet Movie Database.

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