Extinction |
USA • 2018 • 95m •
  • Directed by: Ben Young. • Starring: Michael Peña, Lizzy Caplan, Amelia Crouch, Erica Tremblay, Lex Shrapnel, Emma Booth, Lilly Aspell, Mike Colter, Israel Broussard, Sandra Teles, Tom Riley, Michael Absalom, Mina Obradovic. • Music by: The Newton Brothers.      A family man is plagued by dreams of loss. But his dreams turn out to be more prophetic than paranoid when the planet is attacked by an offworld invasion. As he fight to protect the people he loves, he discovers he has a hidden strength that can keep them safe from harm.
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Review:
Good lord, we GET IT, they're afraid. Surely no child on earth would be as stupid, or as loud, in any real crisis. I was seriously and eagerly hoping the siren-lunged youngest child would eventually come to the end predicted by her clear and utter lack of survival skills, but of course everyone kept going off and looking for her, jumping in front of bullets for her, pulling her out of holes, and generally making the movie into a much worse film by doing so. And eventually, when I came to understand that this little shrieker has been screaming for some 60 years or so, and will apparently go on doing so for eternity.. well, that's about when I decided I could probably review some email messages and balance my checkbook while the rest of the movie plodded to the anticipated ending.
Look: the actors were decent, the effects were okay, and while the plot is a bit hackneyed, I'm cool with hearing a decent story told more than once. But who the hell is getting good money to write scripts including scenes like the one where the loving family is reunited at the train station? To recap: Mom and Dad are being hotly pursued by the good guys.. oh wait, no.. the bad guys? By that time I was really rooting for the invaders to win, so it got confusing... but anyway, they are dashing off (too late! oh no!) to catch a train that is picking up speed and too distant to catch. Little Old Hanna is still screaming, of course, this time she's screaming that Dad SAID he'd be there and so they COULDN'T leave because SCREEEEEMM!!!! SHRIEEEEEEK!!!! Someone stops the train to throw her off, and everyone then notices Mom and Dad running to catch up.
So, what do they do? (Remember, the well-armed and angry invaders are still in hot pursuit!) Well, of course, they let both li'l grandma-aged young'uns off the train for a joyful reunion. Mom and Dad kneel down to give lots of lingering hugs while everyone hitch-sobs things like "I knew you'd make it's" and "why is there an extension cord hanging out of your chest?"
Well, we thought the invaders were still chasing them, but somehow they've dropped considerably behind. Perhaps they stopped for some sandwiches and soda from a vending machine that has been sitting, untouched, for half a century, given that the current residents of Earth don't actually need to eat or anything.
The happy reunion eventually ends and, with renewed urgency, our Eternal Family runs as fast as they can to get on the miraculously still-waiting train, glancing nervously back at the invaders, who come tumbling into view, guns a'blazing, but shucks, they got away.
Somehow they didn't manage to "forget" Shriekanna, but her vocal cords have apparently given out by this time, and the film got a bit better for it, even though now I'm seriously pissed off that the synthetic humans shoved all the biological humans offworld. They don't need food, water, air, sunlight, temperature control or even long-term memories, given the clear evidence that children are children forever-n-ever but somehow never mature or learn. (What a marketing campaign that must have been: "Get your Eterna-Tyke Today! Available in Screaming Pajamas or Sullen Adolescent! Stuffed monkey and I-can't-hear-you-Dad-headphones included!") Why didn't THEY go to miserable Mars, alter their memories so that Mars Is Heaven, and everyone can live happily ever after?
And will humanity ever learn to NOT make robots that look and act exactly like humans? Sheesh.
Review by Rickard-606-592716 from the Internet Movie Database.
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