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Razortooth (2007) Movie Poster
  •  USA  •    •  92m  •    •  Directed by: Patricia Harrington.  •  Starring: Douglas Swander, Kathleen LaGue, Simon Page, Tim Colceri, Kate Gersten, Brandon Breault, Josh Gad, Matt Holly, Adam McCrory, Max Rhyser, Joshua Rubin, Jack Monroe, Amanda Sickler.  •  Music by: Jeffery Alan Jones, Aldo Shllaku.
     Four college students travel deep into the Florida Everglades to earn some extra credit for their biology class. Little do they know, the reason they're there is not to research eels; their professor has created a genetically modified super-eel, and they must capture it, or kill it. Meanwhile, Dr. Soren's old friend, Delmar, is also on the trail of the eel, while Delmar's ex, the sheriff, is chasing after two escaped convicts. When all of these groups converge, the results are exciting... and deadly!


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Image from: Razortooth (2007)
Image from: Razortooth (2007)
Image from: Razortooth (2007)
Image from: Razortooth (2007)
Image from: Razortooth (2007)
Image from: Razortooth (2007)
Image from: Razortooth (2007)
Image from: Razortooth (2007)
Another cable movie you'll see late at night, it belongs to that particular kind of species which is only released in video, a video you'll quickly glimpse in the store's bargain bin and then forget for a while before stumbling upon it one night while changing channels.

The film also neatly fits into the set character lists one usually finds in such movies: the stupid, horny teenagers (with one "smart girl" in the lot), a scientist who messed with Mother Nature...yeah, nothing new. The monster is not new either and looks like someone decided to recycle the Anaconda franchise by adding eels to the mix (Eels, eels, anyone know that song?). While this may sound terrible, the film is deliciously funny.

The eel looks permanently annoyed about something. It growls, hisses and roars and chases its prey over land, through trees, water and even bathrooms with what can only be a strong, homicidal hatred for mankind. The thing even stops while chasing its victims and does an odd hissing and shaking of head movement where it looks spectacularly angry (note to self: when a giant eel is angry, you're in for something bad). The fishy beast also appears to be a very flexible animal: it can bite a man in half, but can also attack through tiny pipes. This goes to show the animal is serious business and is not to be trifled with.

Yes. Giant eels are serious business.

The characters are all very boring at the beginning. You have to wait for the parts where everyone gets together to chase the angry eel for the real mayhem to start. Why? This is why.

You have a bunch of angry American gun nuts, one of whom is overweight, has long white hair and an MP5 (ownership of such a gun probably violates several different gun laws). Another notable gun nut is looking for his son and is an ass. No worries though, he is an epic ass, and goes through the film swearing, insulting and manhandling traumatised kids and shooting at things. These gun nuts trudge around the streams and forests looking for the eel and all get massacred save for Angry Father who gets shot with a cyanide dart by Queer Scientist. The aforementioned students are also incredibly inept, with two of the students being fat (guess who natural selection chose for the eel's next dinner!). The scientist is a strange, wimpy fellow who tries to pull off the "tough scientist" role and only succeeds in looking a bit queer. He dies a hilarious, and unconvincing death.

There are also some children who go missing. You shouldn't care about them since they don't get saved. In fact, practically nobody survives the hunt for the eel, which turns out to be insanely hard to kill.

All in all, we can say the true hero of this movie was the eel. This movie is about the eel's quest for revenge upon the human species and how the noble (and insanely angry) beast is vanquished by man's cruelty.

Rest in peace, Angry Eel, you shall never be forgotten.

Review by patrick-green from the Internet Movie Database.


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Aug 2 2017, 20:39