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Where's Willie?

Where's Willie? (1978) Movie Poster
  •  USA  •    •  97m  •    •  Directed by: John Florea.  •  Starring: Henry Darrow, Katherine Woodville, Guy Madison, Marc Gilpin, Rock Montanio, Robert Clarke, John Mitchum, Anthony Canne, Barry Hostetler, William Turner, Joseph Alston, Fran Tucker, Martha Black.  •  Music by: Robert O. Ragland.
     An 8-year old boy invents a hand-held computer which can control any electronic device, and uses it to affect the entire town where he lives.


Image from: Where
Image from: Where
Image from: Where
Image from: Where
Image from: Where
There's a big hush around the room. B-list celebrity steps up to the podium to open the envelope for the prestigious award for WORST TAGLINE EVER. And it goes to..


Much scenes of joy as the winner celebrates. And really, there was no competition. Let's hear that dreadful sentence again in all its glory.

When the CHIPS are down, it's time to BYTE back.

It's wrong on so many levels, it's just brilliant. What kind of deranged publicist would dream up something as awful as that? I don't know, but it's certainly the ingeniously terrible one I've ever heard. And now it has the accolade to prove it! I'm so happy..

CLEARS THROAT Anyway down to business.. There's this kid see? It's the 70's, so obviously he has a bowl cut and rides around everywhere with his best mate on their bikes in the age before paedophilia. The unusual thing about him though, is he has an IQ of 180 and he's invented this electronic box that can seemingly do anything, from controlling the traffic lights to causing a city wide black-out. His father though, being an ungrateful so and so doesn't like his precious boy causes car jams for miles around and cutting the power of every house in the district. He wants his son to be more 'normal' and play some sports, so he takes the lad out on a little fishing expedition. But the young genius finds a way to utilise his talents there too, and helps his dad catch every trout in that lake by simply pushing one of the buttons on that miracle gadget of his. Sadly, his dad starts going off on one again about him using technology to solves all of life's little problems, so feeling unappreciated and unloved he decides to run away from home with his little dog in tow. Will the sprog return to save the day? Perhaps his father will see the error of his ways and realise how blessed he truly is? The answer may surprise you..

Or maybe not. All I will say is, I wanted to spank that child. Hard. On the behind. With a rolled up newspaper. There have been some intolerable brats in cinema history, but this brainiac with his chipped tooth smile and baby blue eyes is by far the most irritating. But of course corporal punishment is illegal. So you didn't hear me say any of that. Besides, I can console myself with the fact that his film career never worked out, and he's probably mowing the lawn now, being chewed out by his wife for spending too long at the pub while she looks after his 2.4 children. HA! See, me laddo? You're not better than the rest of us at all! HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?! Boy that felt good.. Now, what next? Oh yeah, the film. Well, don't watch it for the simple reason that you will die of boredom before it ends. No, really. The only redeeming feature is that it happens to be so rare that avoiding it shouldn't be difficult. Hurray! So your family don't have to arrange that funeral after all.

Review by anxietyresister from the Internet Movie Database.