There so much wrong with this movie. This is considered one of the worst movies ever, not bad as in fun to watch, but so bad you feel like rushing to the toilet to vomit or you want bang your head so hard that you forget you ever saw it. Where do I even begin with the flaws?
1) The Garbage Pail Kids movie has a story: I don't mind that a movie based on toys have stories in them, because sometimes they succeed (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), but this doesn't even try. It's about a boy named Dodger who is getting bullied nonstop, then the Garbage Pail Kids come in and do what they can to make him popular with one of the girls and see whatever beauty is in her or them. The Garbage Pail Kids were trading cards and not meant to have a story. It's a form of art, something to look at and admire the artist's talent. It was meant to satirize the Cabbage Patch Kids and have fun making disgusting looking kids. It is near impossible to make a well thought out story with these characters, but the film shows how much of a rush the writers were to get this film over with rather than take real time and effort to try and make something good.
2) The story goes into the same pattern of clichés: suspenseful beginning, meet our uninteresting protagonist, he's got a crush and a wise old sage, we meet our secondary characters when things are at the worst for our hero, something goes right for him, the secondary characters have their filler time, something goes horrible for them, liar revealed, a final climax, and the secondary characters go off to conclude the movie reminding us that the film's suppose to be all about them. It gets annoying after dozens of movies following the same formula with no originality, and this is clearly no exception.
3) Pointless filler: This is where the writers knew they had nothing to work with. It's hard enough trying to make a movie about the trading card characters, but they don't even try to work them into the story and instead give them a pointless campout scene, car rides, a song number (I kid you not and it's the only song number), and more unending dialogue and digustingness between the kids. You could fast forward each moment and you wouldn't really be missing any of it. Though really, that is what the entire movie is made up of, so it really doesn't matter.
4) The movie has a phoned in moral: This is possibly the movie's worst quality outside of the horrifying puppetry and annoying story arc. The sage looking after the kids keeps telling them that there's no such thing as "ugly", just "uniqueness", all while thinking about how to trap them back into the garbage pail where they came from and telling them to hide from the "normies" (or normal people). Kids watching this trying to learn self esteem won't get it from this movie because it's unintentionally teaching kids "Hide your talents and yourself from the world, everybody hates you." If you wanted a movie or story that taught kids about the "beauty within" theme better, how about looking at Hunchback of Notre Dame, Ugly Duckling, Beauty and the Beast, and so on. Those stories knew how to teach kids that despite how they look or what the world might think of them, there's something special within them. The people (or authors) who guide the characters into believing it stay true to it and never retract it by acting ashamed of them or discouraging them. This movie just simply doesn't care. Not only does the movie treat the Garbage Pail Kids as ugly from the outside, but they have no heart, no soul, and no pity. They're all one dimensional, stereotypical, violent, and disgusting little monsters.
Those are only the basics of what infuriates me about this movie. What more can I really say about it? It's just bad.
Review by Bonnie O'Connor from the Internet Movie Database.