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Legion of the Night

Legion of the Night (1995) Movie Poster
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USA  •    •  85m  •    •  Directed by: Matt Jaissle.  •  Starring: Tim Lovelace, Jeff Rector, Ron Asheton, Heather Fine, S. William Hinzman, Shannon Hart Cleary, Steve Dixon, Daniel Gold, Kenny Mugwump, Fritz Weber, Rogan Russell Marshall.  •  Music by: Paul McCollough.
     A brilliant scientist experiments with dead tissue regeneration, leading to organized crime making use of the creations as Ultimate Killing Machines! The doctor is blackmailed into creating "Cybernetic Zombie Assassins" (C.Z.A.'s) to carry out mob hits on rival gangsters. The scientist is killed when one of the hits goes wrong. The scientist's assistant then teams up with the doctor's son, and they send the C.Z.A.'s on a mission of revenge against the mob boss.


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Image from: Legion of the Night (1995)
Image from: Legion of the Night (1995)
Image from: Legion of the Night (1995)
This is the first film I've seen that sounds exactly like a terrible action zombie movie written by a 10- or 11-year-old boy. The plot is ludicrous with a capital "WHAT", the characters' existence is an insult to cardboard, everybody is acting with a severe case of that enraged sneer disease that was caught by every 90's action cartoon hero, and not only is the dialogue purely functional and ripped-off, the writer decided to add at least one curse word to each sentence, just like a pre-pubescent boy who's seen his first R-rated movie thinks adults talk like. Attempting to create hoardes of zombie super-soldiers on a garage sale budget, this is a must-see just for how hilarious it is.

Review by ParkingWithoutTheA from the Internet Movie Database.