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I'll Believe You

I'll Believe You (2006) Movie Poster
  •  USA  •    •  82m  •    •  Directed by: Paul Francis Sullivan.  •  Starring: David Alan Basche, Patrick Warburton, Siobhan Fallon Hogan, Patrick Gallo, Cece Pleasants, Doc Dougherty, Fred Willard, Thomas Gibson, Chris Elliott, Ed Helms, Mo Rocca, Chris MacKenzie, Susie Felber.  •  Music by: J.J. McGeehan.
     Late-night radio host Dale Sweeney's usual line up of odd-ball, conspiracy-obsessed callers is interrupted by a panicked phone call in an indecipherable language. When FBI agents arrive investigating the call, Dale enlists his friends help to uncover what he hopes is the amazing identity of this first time caller.


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There is a looming crisis in cinema. It's caused by the two revolutions in filmmaking since 1990. One revolution was the technological advances that have made it possible for just about anybody to make a movie. The equipment needed for a film is now so cheap and easy to use that anyone with a lot of ambition, a little money, less talent and virtually no skill can produce something that resembles a professional motion picture. By itself, that's been a relatively positive advance that's allowed more people to pursue their dreams of being a filmmaker no matter how foolish those dreams may be. But then a second revolution has come about in movie distribution. First with DVDs and now with Blu-Rays and online downloads and streaming, just about every piece of crap that's ever been committed to film or video is being regurgitated into the marketplace. Things that should have never been seen by anyone except the filmmakers immediate friends and family are now out there waiting to be rented by some unsuspecting sucker.

The result is an ever growing ocean of excrement, films that are just terrible from filmmakers who haven't got a clue, that the audience has to swim through to find anything worth watching. I've tried to seek out low budget movies I've never heard of and for every decent one I've found, there are at least 10 that are so awful they made me want to jump in front of a moving bus.

Don't get me wrong. There's always been terrible films, but the ease of production is allowing more and more to be created by people who have less and less business making movies and the voracious drive to gouge every possible cent out of the public, along with the desperate hope of personal glory, is throwing all that worthless junk onto video store shelves and computer screens around the world. The result is a home entertainment minefield where viewers' appetite and aptitude for entertainment is being blown away.

I'll Believe You is almost a perfect example of this problem. It has a halfway interesting idea for a story and an inexplicably large number of recognizable performers in it, but it stinks on ice. The plot is a drooling mess, the dialog never rises above the inane, the three main characters are portrayed by "actors" who had to have gotten the roles by being friends with the producers because no one in their right mind would cast these people as anything other than back ground extras in a fast food commercial, and the direction is barely more than a half-step better than what you'll see on your local public access television channel. This story of a late night radio host who gets a call from a gibberish-spouting alleged alien is dumb, unfunny and poorly executed. Particular derision has to go to the supposed star of the film, David Alan Basche, who has all the sincerity and emotional range of a 1976 TV game show announcer.

The only credit I can give I'll Believe You is that it lets you know right away it's going to suck. The opening credits list a special appearance by Chris Elliott, of all people, and the first scenes are dominated by a bunch of expository narration, the crutch of every inexperienced and graceless filmmaker who doesn't know what the hell he's doing.

And just to be clear, this thing doesn't have the energy or imagination to be "so bad it's good". It's only plain, old fashioned, bore-you-out-of-your-skull bad. Instead of watching it, a better use of your time would be clipping your toenails and the toenails of 10 random homeless people.

Review by MBunge from the Internet Movie Database.


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Nov 9 2017, 00:57