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One-Eyed Monster

One-Eyed Monster (2008) Movie Poster
  •  USA  •    •  84m  •    •  Directed by: Adam Fields.  •  Starring: Amber Benson, Jason Graham, Charles Napier, Jeff Denton, Caleb Mayo, Bart Fletcher, Jenny Guy, Veronica Hart, John Edward Lee, Carmen Hart, Frank Noel, Ron Jeremy, Bobby Knight.  •  Music by: Adam Fields.
       Ten people travel into the mountains of Northern California to shoot a porn movie. During a scene break early in filming Ron Jeremy gets hit by a shooting star and in the following scene his penis, now possessed by a sex-hungry alien, detaches itself, leaving Ron for dead. The remaining cast and crew theorize about the murdering penis' vulnerability after climax, 'when it is limp, and at its weakest'. They hatch a plan to lure the penis into a neuro-tactile simulator and then circumcise it with an ax during its 'refractory period'.

Trailers:

   Length:  Languages:  Subtitles:
 2:45
 

Review:

Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
Image from: One-Eyed Monster (2008)
One-Eyed Monster starts as a bus-load of hardcore porn stars arrive at an isolated log cabin on a mountain, along with the crew T.J. (Caleb Mayo) & Jonah (Jason Graham) they are there to shoot a hardcore porn film. The star is ageing porn actor Ron Jeremy (Ron Jeremy) who has trouble getting his nine inch member up these days, while outside a strange burst of light from the night sky engulfs him. Back on set & in action with his ageing co-star Veronica Hart (Veronica Hart) his penis attacks her & then rips itself off Ron's groin & goes on a mad killing spree as it tries to mate with all the nice young female pron stars on set. The trapped cast & crew assume that Ron's penis has been possessed by an alien life-force & is trying to spread it's seed throughout humanity by taking control of Ron Jeremy's penis & having sex with as many women as it can. The only question is, can they stop it?

Co-written, produced & directed by Adam Fields this comedy horror is like a ten year old dream come true, a few naked breasts's, a bit of blood & a one note joke about an alien possessed killer penis that I am sure will appeal to those with a rock bottom sense of humour but for anyone looking for a funny & witty horror comedy expect disappointment. At less than 80 minutes long One-Eyed Monster actually drags in places, the character's have a few amusing one-liners every now & again but generally they are stupid clichés who irritate. The killer penis gets like a minute of screen time. All the kills are off screen. There are about two scenes with any actual nudity. For a supposed gross out horror comedy about an alien possessed killer penis running amok during a hardcore porn film shoot One-Eyed Monster is unbelievably tame & none eventful. To give it some credit the sexual innuendos, one-liners & double entendres can be quite amusing at times but does get a little boring by the end & there's only so far penis jokes can carry a film. I won't even bother picking holes in the script as it's clearly not a film to be taken seriously even though at times one did get the impression that the makers were treating it all very seriously, too seriously in fact.

AS I already mentioned despite it's premise & situations One-Eyed Monster is amazingly tame, I think only one actress bares her breast's while no-one is killed on screen at all. There's a brief shot a woman with a hole in her head & someone gets sliced in two but otherwise that's it. The production values are reasonable, it looks better than one might have expected I suppose. There are a few homages here that are easy enough to spot including obvious ones from Jaws (1975), Aliens (1986) & Tremors (1990). The effects are alright but on the few occasion when you do actually see the alien possessed killer penis it looks like a fresh big long brown turd.

The acting isn't too bad, ageing porn stars Ron Jeremy & Veronica Hart appear while porn starlet Carmen Hart also appears & is terrible. God knows what an old pro like Charles Napier is doing in this.

One-Eyed Monster is a film that has a magnificent & simply outrageous premise that in the right hands hands could have been the gross out horror comedy of the decade, as it is it's a boring tame mess with only a few one-liners & sexual innuendo to recommend it. One-Eyed Monster is the type of film that people want to like (like Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus (2009)) for it's sheer outlandishness but when it comes down to it the film itself is just poor.


Review by Paul Andrews from the Internet Movie Database.