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The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon

Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008) Movie Poster
Canada  •    •  88m  •    •  Directed by: Farhad Mann.  •  Starring: Michael Shanks, Shannen Doherty, JR Bourne, Toby Berner, Heather Doerksen, Duncan Fraser, Peter New, Byron Chief-Moon, A.C. Peterson, Rob McConachie, Luis Javier, Peter Kent, Darcy Laurie.  •  Music by: Michael Neilson.
       A team of Smithsonian researchers have stumbled across a lost walled Aztec city guarded by some evil spirits, including a "great flying serpent of death." As days turn to weeks, Susan Jordan, the daughter of the professor leading the expedition, assembles a team to rescue her father and his colleagues from the clutches of the ancient Aztec warriors and their horrible serpent god.

Trailers:

   Length:  Languages:  Subtitles:
 1:29
 
 

Review:

Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
Image from: Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon, The (2008)
The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon: 1 out of 10: Well I was two minutes into the film and my girlfriend jinxed us. ''Hey you know this movie isn't that bad''. I turned pale... real pale. You don't tempt the Gods like that. Not with a made for Sci-fi Channel movie. Not when one where the lead is Shannen Doherty. The words barely left her mouth and a CGI puppet began sliming a Frat Boy in a diaper. The Horror.... The Horror. If I am going to start somewhere I have to start with the Frat Boys in diapers. The movie claims these are Aztecs still hidden in the Grand Canyon at the end of the 19th century. (I know I know) Apparently they have been hiding from the white man for many years. Not to mention the Havasupai and the Painte and the Pai and the tourists at the Upper Canyon Ranch and perhaps the boys in blue down at Ft. Mohave. Anyway this lost tribe of Aztecs, like some Japanese WW2 sniper still hiding in a palm tree in 1971, is hidden in the Grand Canyon. What seems stranger is that they consist almost entirely of a hereto thou undiscovered group of Aztecs whom look like white college football players wearing diapers (well more of a mawashi) and war paint. I am all in favor of multicultural casting but I can't believe that it isn't a little insensitive to portray Native Americans as well extras in a Fire Island movie. Hold on a second Fire Island Movie????... The men are all buff and practically naked. The two woman are wearing pants and done up in to look twice their age. The monster spews slime on the buff boys for no good reason. Oh God no it's Jeepers Creepers 2 all over again. The homoerotic horror film strikes again. Now I'm not sure that the over the top homoeroticism is directors Farhad Mann's doing (or even intentional), but Mann is responsible for both Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace as well as Return to Two Moon Junction so with a track record like I am prepared to blame him for a Swine Flu outbreak let alone this film. So what else went wrong? Well the Quetzalcoatl design is all wrong (he looks like a puppet) and his CGI is bad by even the very low Sci-fi Channel standards. The sets look like Kirk and Spock are going to beam down at any moment. Half the explorers are grossly overweight; an unlikely condition in the far west wilderness that far from a Wal-Mart. As noted above Shannen Doherty who isn't even forty looks forty-five and Heather Doerksen who isn't even thirty looks fifty. And they have a five minute flashback at the end that repeats the entire film. But let's face it buff white frat boys in diapers getting slimed from off camera and pretending to be Indians. Yeah that is just all sorts of wrong.

Review by julian kennedy from the Internet Movie Database.