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LizardMan: The Terror of the Swamp

LizardMan: The Terror of the Swamp (2012) Movie Poster
USA  •    •  81m  •    •  Directed by: Peter Dang.  •  Starring: Michael Harding, James Arthur Lewis, Michael Gaglio, Steven M. Blasini, Amber McConnell, Alejandra Bejar, Brittany Blaze, Sherri Box, Randy Carter, Frankie Cullen, Micheal Donaghue, Matt Easton, Patrick Giraudi.  •  Music by: Chuck Cirino.
Haunted by a terrifying incident in his past, billionaire Bill Hansen seeks revenge by enlisting a team of mercenaries and a television personality to capture and exploit a dangerous lizard-like creature.

Review:

Image from: LizardMan: The Terror of the Swamp (2012)
Image from: LizardMan: The Terror of the Swamp (2012)
Image from: LizardMan: The Terror of the Swamp (2012)
Image from: LizardMan: The Terror of the Swamp (2012)
LizardMan: Terror of the Swamps is a modern classic of the science fiction genre brought to you by the cast and crew of such classics as Big Money Rustlas, Bikini Frankenstein, Dude, Where's My Dog?, Monster of the Nudist Colony, Interracial MILF Orgy #3, and various other achievements in SyFy Network TV movies and softcorehardcore pornography.

I've seen movies with worse acting than this, but the titles escape me. Most of the movie takes place in a patch of woods off of a dirt road and the other parts take place in a warehouse, er, I mean a soundstage. The film looks like it was shot with a $60 Nikon camera and edited together with Windows Movie Maker.

The "special" effects are very... special. First off, you have the LizardMan himself, dressed in a Halloween novelty fishman costume that you'd see at Wal-Mart on November 3rd because nobody was stupid enough to buy it during Trick or Treat season. And then you have the "gore" effects which are done with CG blood designed in Microsoft Paint and superimposed onto moving victims. I should clarify that the actors are moving, but the CG bloodstains stay static. You can replicate the same effect by standing perfectly still, pouring ketchup into your eye, then moving your hand around in front of your face. Actually, don't do that, because it still looks more realistic than the CG blood they use in this movie. Couldn't they have bought a ten dollar bucket of fake blood from Hot Topic? Anyway, I think this film is attempting to be a homage to the Roger Corman era of low-budget horror and sci-fi films of the 50's and 60's, except that those movies are kind of fun to watch. I can think of about a thousand words to describe this movie, and "fun" isn't one of them.


Review by princebuster82 from the Internet Movie Database.