Lengua Asesina, La

• UK / Spain • 1996 • 100m •

• Directed by: Alberto Sciamma. • Starring: Melinda Clarke, Jason Durr, Mapi Galán, Mabel Karr, Robert Englund, Alicia Borrachero, Doug Bradley, Michael Cule, David Dale, Daniel Edwards, Terry Forrestal, Ricardo Fraguas, Alicia Marina..

A woman is hiding out with four pastel colored poodles in a desert gas station with the loot from a heist while her boy friend does prison time. A meteorite crashes near the station transforming her into an alien being with a gigantic voracious tongue and her poodles are transformed into four drag queens. The whole thing grows even weirder as her boyfriend escapes and also encounters the meteorite, as does a mute Nun who is converted into a sexy drum majorette. Pursued by the prison officials who are after him, the whole group eventually comes into conflict...

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Review:

Here's a horror version of PRISCILLA: QUEEN OF THE DESERT (they wish!) starring MelindaMindy (RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3) Clarke as Candy, a desert dweller who pulls off a bank heist with boyfriend Johnny (Jason Durr). He ends up in a South-of-the-border prison run by the sadistic Chief Screw (an overacting Robert Englund in a toupee). She and her beloved pet poodles end up in hiding at a gas station convent until they're transformed by a newly fallen meteor. The dogs turn into obnoxious drag queen "bitches" and Candy develops a VERY long, talking, killing forked tongue she can't control. Thugs looking for the stolen loot and other assorted numbskulls add extra complications.

First off, Clarke is fantastic and makes what there is to make of this movie. You watch her and see someone very funny during the slapstick scenes, very convincing during the horror scenes and VERY sexy in various wigs and disguises, including an eye-popping, skin tight latex bodysuit...and wonder how come this actress isn't a huge star. It's too bad the rest of this cult attempt doesn't live up to her promise.

Blame directorscripter Sciamma, who thinks the outlandish premise alone is enough to sustain laughs...but his vulgar gags, annoying supporting characters and stupid dialogue are no substitute for a real sense of humor. Another nail in the coffin; the film looks cheap, lots of garish colors and sets are strangely muted by muddy photography and the dusty desert locales. Luckily for Sciamma that Clarke is in his film, because she alone keeps you watching.

Review by capkronos from the Internet Movie Database.

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